ARTIST OPENING
Youth Artist
marlaina mac
Thursday July 13th from 6-8 at 4 Market St. Warren RI
AS ALWAYS, ARC{HIVE} WILL BE BE OPEN FOR DRINKS AND SNACKS.
My name is marlaina mac and I’m a self-taught artist. I am also a recent graduate from Classical High School with plans to go to RIC for the next two years. :)
To me, art and writing are outlets. I almost never start a piece knowing what I’m going to make. I often just impulsively mark up a page until I get an idea–or a feeling–or a start.
My passion for art and stories took root from as young as three. I remember when I was little I was often found scribbling a series of drawings, abundant with stickers, on various colored construction papers. Each page progressed a story of some kind of adventure, ‘wise lesson’, or random silly plot. My messly stapled ‘books’ had no literal words on them since I couldn’t technically write yet (plus when I got older and could– my handwriting wasn’t as pretty (or eligible) as the adults’-- so I still insisted they write for me). My relatives (especially my parents) were often bombarded with requests to write for me. We would sit down while I dictated the exact words that needed to go on their exact pages. Everyone usually reluctantly agreed and wrote exactly what I told them to– which pleased me. However, when my dad sat down with me he would often go off script! And without permission, write his own puns and lines in pen– which of course got me super upset and defiant. Looking back at my ‘books’ now though, I find them pretty funny.
My current displayed works are a series that tell part of my story in becoming Marlaina. I had a pretty decent childhood and was always known as the sassy, daredevil, dirt-rolling, story-telling, strong, and compassionate kid that I was. My parents taught me of justice, sticking up for myself/others, and seeing things outside of myself–which I carried (and still do) as core values throughout my life and experiences.
This part of me has always been blindingly strong. However, this bright light within me seemingly shattered after the age of 12– to a point that everything I knew about myself was dark for many years.
As a survivor of abuse with some pretty uncomfortable and horrific events– I had a more difficult time growing up after leaving elementary school. My differentiation between many things blurred, swirled, and mixed into many forced unknowing delusions. As a kid still growing into a woman– I didn’t understand why these things were happening to me– leaving me to believe that I was the issue.
Maybe I grew up too fast?
Not fast enough?
Who knows.
Through my imagination and core creativity I escaped into beautiful worlds and stories that wandered the depths of my mind. I created an ethereal safe space for myself, without realizing that it was only safe because I pretended nothing else around it existed.
With long-term avoidance comes the eventual inevitable cracks and crumbling that broke the comfortable reality I’d crafted for myself. Forced to relive the trauma my brain had suppressed and ‘forgotten’ brought me a lot of pain, anxiety, depression, and severe panic. Which seeped into my present– especially after the forced isolation that the pandemic brought.
Failing school, distancing friends, tolerating toxicity, tolerating discomfort, self-denial, self-delusion, crumbling people-pleasing roles, haunting habits and uncomfortable treatment.
It caused me to question what I went through and finally face what still haunts me so much.
With a lot of uncomfortable hard work I dug past everything I had buried–everyone that was buried– and found my core values once more. That little girl with a big imagination was still me– just now, I have evolved.
I am not grateful for the things that happened to me and I absolutely never wish any of them to happen to another child; however, without these experiences I wouldn’t have become the well-rounded and emotionally mature person that I am today.
I’m grateful to my family for helping me, I’m grateful to my close friends for staying beside me and making me laugh even in times of not-so-greatness. I am grateful to my mom for always being a source of warmth and comfort. I’m grateful to my dad for the care he’s given my brother and I. I’m grateful to my brother for being the person I could escape reality with and endlessly play minecraft with–without it ever being boring. I’m grateful for my beyond closest friend, Rania, for being there when no one else was. <3
Finally, I’m grateful to myself for being brave.
With the things we grow through we gain wisdom, empathy, and perspective. By opening our eyes we can see others for who they really are and more easily understand the world around us.
I hope my story can comfort others who have been through hardship and bring hope to those who feel trapped in themselves. I hope to inspire others to question what they’ve left dormant.